I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose her, but every day is an internal struggle and I'm not happy. I'm going through the exact same thing. Sounds almost exactly like my wife and I. He wasn’t very interested in hearing my tales and ended up asking me out as he found himself jealous of these people I was complaining about. So I sent my current girlfriend a text saying its best we go our separate ways. Never looked back in fact-just gone…by default with his cheating partner. Press J to jump to the feed. No, but I have thought of it and every time I realize I would regret it severely. The overthinking, the dread, the doubts, and the unhappiness are all symptoms of my own anxiety. Nostalgia took hold, and I had some debts to settle with her still, so we met up. People grow, age, mature.   These statistics on divorce regret … Medically Reviewed By: Ema Jones, LCSW Do exes come back? One of the most obvious signs your ex regrets dumping you is when your ex-partner stalks you. He's been through what you're going through, gotten his own ex back, and developed an 'ex'pertize on this topic from helping thousands of other guys to get the one they love back … I came off as an asshole, couldn't find any way to soften it, and had to just resign myself to watch as this person who I admire and still love, albeit in a less intense way, cry and spew hatred at me, questioning herself, calling herself worthless and horrible and a waste of life. I'm going to guess the majority of people. "Wife lied to me about her family plans. Took some time apart from her to rationalise & worked it out with her. I'm having HUGE regrets of my divorce. But in the end decided I wanted to make this work, so I put in the work I needed to; no hookups, no flirting with women when I went out, nothing inappropriate. At the end of two months we met for dinner and decided we were going to start a new relationship together without the lies and deception that plagued us earlier. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Lasted another 4 months, then broke up again. Congrats on rediscovering that special someone! Press J to jump to the feed. Now I'm more worry-free while she's feeling more relaxed. We spent a few years apart, dated other people and grew up but we always stayed in touch and never stopped having feelings for each other. Your ex is aware that time is running out if he wants to get you back, and he is beginning to regret breaking up with … Many of the posts there describe what I experienced so it is somewhat common. I was so scared of losing her that for those 2 months, I fell in love and I was completely and truly happy. Here are a few pointers that are going to help you make your ex regret dumping you. How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You Pointer #1 – Don’t Contact Your Ex. While I regretted getting back together with her, what I regretted most was putting her through that again. Got back together and now I’m happier than I could ever imagine possible. I needed this today. No matter what, ending a relationship is never a pleasant experience. And if your ex suddenly realizes how incredible you are AND you suddenly are no longer readily available to them, they’ll experience serious regret. This is the time for you to reveal your best qualities. I also went to r/anxiety and searched for relationship anxiety. Sam is a relationship coach specializing in breakups and getting exes back. We dated for a few years and then broke up when it was too much. I would call my old self and say, ‘I know you live in Sucksville, but it will get better.’”— Lisa, 50 Yes because he was a jerk and didn't change a bit. Given that you’re here reading this article, you are probably still attached to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in one way or another and still hope that your ex will eventually decide to come back … It was like going thru rehab lol. After I finally booted my ex from my love life, Hubby was exhausted and our relationship had changed. There was no reason for it. Right down to the sudden breaking up and getting back together. Relationship OCD http://ocdla.com/rocd-relationship-ocd-myth-of-the-one-3665. One day, I noticed she was the only other person online on MSN messenger, and when I got up to get a cup of coffee I heard the messenger notification go off and knew it was her. During which time we dated other people, finished schooling, and grew up a little bit. HBO Many breakups happen because of a series of arguments in a relationship and oftentimes they might require an apology from one or both of you. When we first went on our break, I searched reddit … Report comments that violate these rules. But my love for her (and the desire to regain her trust) was so strong, it got me through moments when the urge (and opportunity) to cheat was overwhelming. My experience almost word for word. It was a great decision. By: Nicola Kirkpatrick Updated December 21, 2020. That kinda pushed her to the edge because she likes her personal space while I didn't see that I was suffocating her. He routinely pays me anywhere from $1000 to $2000 extra on the monthly court ordered spousal support. After you have a fresh breakup it’s important you don’t ever act like a doormat to you ex … Started her own business, loved animals, the most adorable girl I'd ever met. We're each others best friends and I hate not spending time with her or talking with her. Eventually we eased back into a friendship, things progressed naturally, and we decided we would get back together. I regret the affair deeply, and I am remorseful. Finally when we were both single again at the same time we pretty much immediately got back together and we've been married for a year! Consider doing an AMA request instead. If things are meant to work out down the line they will. An apology doesn't necessarily mean your ex wants to get back together with you. I am as well. Married her two years almost to the day after we reconnected, and our first child is coming in May. I mustered the courage to tell him we needed to change, and he broke down saying he didn't have the mentality to do so at that time. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. The dread and anxiety and the feeling of something lacking even though she seems to be 100% compatible on paper... Not too mention the growing frustration with myself for not being able to just be content with this amazing woman that wants nothing more than to be with me. that's the thing- by the time that they come back … Little stuff bothered us and we broke up. Looking back at a number of exes and can unequivocally say that this is one of the very best things that I have never done, not even once, in my life. Gradually I realised these things 1. After some time I started dating again and was jokingly telling him the horror stories of being a single gal. We reconnected almost by chance and everything just clicked. Stronger than before. She made it clear that we were still together, just “separated”...which was hard as hell for me to cope with on several levels. We've been together almost four years now, and are very happy together. If he's made clear that he doesn't want to get back together, don't keep bugging him to. In a relationship that was rocky in the first 2 years but things have stabilised & better than ever now. It was the right decision, no doubt in my mind. Hormones, surgery, regret: I was a transgender woman for 8 years — time I can't get back At first I was giddy for the fresh start. If you beg your ex to get back together, then you are going to regret it. Regret is no place to be, and most of the time there is no way back. I never thought being with just one woman would be so fulfilling and bring me so much happiness - I was too caught up having meaningless sex with other people, I never took the time to fully invest in one person emotionally, mentally, and physically. I'm not happy with myself, I'm not happy with my life, and I'm afraid I won't find anyone like her again. We still knew so much about each other's lives and families, it felt like we skipped the first awkward part of dating. We're much more appreciative of each other now, since we got a taste of the alternative. . By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Together for two and a half years before the breakup - the last 6 months were terrible. 2 Years of a gap between when we dated then, and now. We went to brunch and I tried to tell her what was going on, but it all came out wrong. If you’re looking for signs your ex will eventually come back, you’re just in the right place! The last time beg anyone to come back. Commenting so I can read more replies later. Felt like a bit of a tit, but I really wish we parted ways the first time. We’ve been happily together for a little over a year without me slipping. Remind him why he fell in love … Just don't be an asshole about it. Not quite begged but I worked my ass off to get her back, then realised I wasn't happy and we inevitably broke up a couple months down the line. Our break up was crazy and really dragged out. It's not a partnership, it's you will do what she … She is giving you a gift by being in this relationship, a gift that you have made it clear you will do almost anything for. But it just felt wrong, in a way I could never put into words. Rossie Brovent, from Dayton, Ohio, received $100,000 in damages after she cheated on her ex … Hi Sammie, so if you want to get your ex back I do not recommend writing him a letter, I know his mother means well but that emotion is going to take him back to the reasons he ended the relationship and ruin the work you are goign to need to do during NO contact. Sometimes you just find the right person too early - recognizing that and not trying to force it when the time isn't right is really important. Because she is amazing. I dated my wife for about eight months in high school, and remained friends for s while after we broke up. Started dating her along with multiple women at the same time. For 2 whole months I was again dating the girl that had previously given me that anxiety and dread feeling. So far you’ve rebuilt your life, and if you’ve done most of the things described above, you’ve improved it. I fucking hate it and I'm starting to hate myself. We were both severely depressed and it made us treat each other shitty. In case its real love they will accept, if not then you know what junk you got … Any good stories out there would make my day since everyone thinks I made a mistake :). And if you want to get your ex back, this isn’t the way to do it. We were broken up for about half a year then got back together. And now, she has that gift over your head. After the 2nd session my therapist, based on what I told her, was fairly certain that I have an anxiety disorder. We were headed different directions in life, though, with her wanting a farm, and me wanting a downtown apartment, kids v none, etc. She's a wonderful person, but there was always this feeling of discontent and anxiety whenever I was alone with her. My husband and I dated when we were teenagers but we both had a lot to learn and were not a healthy couple. Cheated on her a couple times...she caught me both times. I’m actually about to pop the question on New Year’s Eve, wish me luck! Only done that with one ex and I was the one to end it the second time around. I wish I would have tried harder and I wish we would have went to more counseling. Not worth it. It was mutual, no begging from either party, 3 years later (6 years accumulated) and I'm exactly right back where I was when I was 18. And if you're not the one with regret, then I'm sure you're the one hoping your ex is living with the regret of losing you. After the second time I realized there was nothing I was getting from other women that would make up for losing her, so I committed to no longer cheating. The real reason why dumpers regret breaking up with you. I think I've figured it out. Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. Call it “backsliding,” but in such a case, getting back together with an ex seems more than sensible. My ex … Dated other people and we realized each others problems were very minor compared to the other nuts out there and have been happy ever since. Separation made me realize the importance of having her in my life (as well as realize the ripple effects of my destructive behavior). We have a daughter now. "I do regret … He gave me a chance and drama ensued. I was a philandering POS before I met her. We just passed our 9 year anniversary! No communication between us, nothing. So, In case someone regrets breaking up with their ex and want to get them back, the best thing to do is to INITIATE. It's really hard to get over someone when you remind yourself of her every time you put your clothes away. I really feel in love with my best friend. Depending on your age, the type of situation you are in or your marital status, your chances of getting back … When I started dating my Husband, I told him on the first date that I liked him but was in love with my ex. When we first started dating, I had just been dumped by my high school sweetheart who I had been with for 7 years. Senior in college and just recently got back together with someone I never thought I would but I think I really love her and she loves me. He routinely pays me anywhere from $1000 to $2000 extra on the monthly court ordered spousal support. Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child. Two months after the break up, I still missed her. Your heart is worth more than a roll in the hay, especially if it's someone you're unable to get. Otherwise, we got along quite well. "We saw a few different marriage counselors. It was a normal healthy breakup and I still cared for him but was sure I had ruined it. It’s such a great sign because a detached ex … I'm so blessed to do life with her. You don’t want your ex to come back just for him or her to leave again. If your ex reaches out to make amends about their past behavior, Sussman said it could mean that getting back … The Daily Mail also reports that a U.K. survey found that as much as 54 percent of participants experienced second thoughts after getting a divorce and that 42 percent considered giving the relationship another try. If you beg your ex to get back together, then you are going to regret it. We went from taking each other's insecurities, frustration and troubles out on each other to helping each other work on it together. If you want her so badly that you are willing to beg, then she now controls the relationship. Learn to trust your gut if it's always right. It's not a partnership, it's you will do what she wants, or she will leave you. Exes are exes. However, she decided to take a break from me for a couple months to: 1. The eye opener was going almost two weeks without a real conversation or even seeing each other. Worst mistake of my life, the issues don't go away, no matter how much you think you've matured, no matter how hopeful you are for a better relationship, the same shit hits the same fan, and the same mess is an often recurrence. Hey, I just wanted to let you know what I've found out about our "issue" that we share. She is someone I can spend the rest of my life with and be happy. Sometimes I think it’s guilt, sometimes a pay-off attempting to get me to fix his relationships with our children. So accept his or her dinner invitation, and if you feel strongly about your ex—get to the second base. That’s when you will receive a message from your ex, asking you to get back … It’s like we didn’t know how to be not in a relationship. I'm not sure if it's a fear of commitment, wanting to see what else the world offers in terms of women, or maybe it's just something biological, but it completely sucks and I don't know the reason either. We broke up and got back together pretty much week in and week out for about 5 years, through my undergrad and post-grad years. We’ve been through some shit since getting back together but we can get through stuff together now and we know each other so much better now so we rarely fight. If you want to know how to get your ex back when he has moved on, the key is to show him that you’re the better option here. If you are in this position, don't beg her to go back. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Everything felt wonderful, we cried, kissed, cuddled. We were broken up for about half a year then got back together. I'm now 24. We were both crushed, cause it didn't feel like the right decision. I was a fool enough to have believed his words and gave him a second chance. Just go and approach them and tell them your feelings. It made me learn about myself. they probably wanted to get back with me because they remembered how nice and accommodating i was. So... what makes a guy regret losing you exactly? Maybe we can get back together.” —Rob* No One Gets Humor Like She Did NO WAY would my ex-husband take me back after I cheated on him and we were both out $80,000 total over a two year nasty divorce. I have said this to my husband, and if I could change it, I would never have embarked on the affair. Thank fuck I am … Was that the first break up, or was it on and off for months? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, http://ocdla.com/rocd-relationship-ocd-myth-of-the-one-3665. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. That was many moons ago, and regret statistics are hard to come by. It's been 13 years ago now, but yeah, I did that. 14)Your ex stalks you. , Thank you for posting this response, your act of thanking OP warmed my heart! When you get back together with a former love, there's no way to know whether it will end up being the best decision of your life or just go up in flames all over again. He’s my best friend and i love him, i’m so happy we took another chance. Even after knowing and spending the majority of 2 years with her, there is nothing about her that is a relationship dealbreaker and I enjoy myself around her when the anxiety is absent. Don't regret it, but it was a waste of time if that makes sense. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. We just had no idea what a romantic relationship was supposed to look like, and we were young and dumb. I've never properly got back together with an ex but I've almost broken up with someone and then gone back on it a couple of times, and then ended up regretting not sticking with my instincts and ending it. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. Best decision ever. We’ve been through some shit since getting back together but we can get through stuff together now and we know each other so … Now we’re happily married with a lil goober. And it was like the first time all over again. I wasted so much of both of our time and energy, and alienated friends. Then, out now the blue, I started to get the anxiety again, the dread and the doubts, and the love that I felt was pushed out of the way. One day, I snapped and abruptly broke up with her, being unable to sit and let the dread keep sitting on my shoulders. I’m sorry I don’t have a contribution, but thank you for posting this. My ex and I had a really good relationship but had grown apart. I know that something was lacking, but I guess I still haven't discovered what that thing is. Ex's are ex's for a reason. I'd think about her every day, and all the fun times we'd shared. So after the anxiety came back I finally went to go see a therapist. Days after we had a long talk. We broke up but stayed distant friends. In order to create this desire and attraction, your ex … Level up in ways that she wasn't expecting you to. It is only me who it getting hurt in … So, this can be applied to making an ex regret casting you aside… If you suddenly are no longer in your ex’s life, a part of them (whether it is big or small) will want you back in it. I guess it took us realizing what we would be giving up, to figure out we wouldn't be without each other over something fixable. I've communicated all of this with her so she knows what is going on and she's been so supportive, but it's not fair to her if I'm not in this relationship 100%. Our relationship before wasn’t the greatest, we were both going through stuff and didn’t know how to deal with it as well as being in a relationship and we were always fighting about something. Now, We joke about his crazy ex gf (meaning me). I'm currently waiting to get in to see a psychiatrist to get some sort of treatment. We lost touch for about three years after I said some hurtful things and she moved out of state. All the ways she dramatically improved my life, how she helped me change as a person, how she helped me get organized. Partially … There is nothing wrong with trying to talk to your ex about getting back together at some point. If after reading this article and trying these tools for making your ex regret losing you and end up wanting you back, and you don’t see big results, your ex will experience a real shock if you pretend to have found someone.. Jealousy is one of our most human emotions, so it is imperative that you use it wisely. I didn't realize how much of a mistake I had made by simply giving the two of us hope that everything could once again be alright (especially since I had forgotten how that hadn't been the case for a long time). To be honest, I really regret breaking up with my ex and I am thinking of reaching out to see how she is doing. But now I know, and there's no turning back. I had forgotten how all-encompassing it had been and immediately regretted what I had done over the last four days. They had different ideas about what family means. though by that time, i was pretty much over them and was able to see all the flaws in the relationship. Just understand that the ultimate answer may be “no.” ... they only regret … My SO found it overwhelming when I texted her daily to ask her how her day is & get constantly worried when she works late at night or got sick. Heal from the betrayal and 2: figure out if she could trust me again. If you want her so badly that you are willing to beg, then she now controls the relationship. Just thought I'd let you know what I found out and I hope things get better for you. I kept this up off and on for about a year into our relationship. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. TL;DR - Separated from my partner because I cheated on her. My one regret is that I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Communication & the willingness to change is key. Yes, 1000x this! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! Granted I was busy with work and also had this new friend girl who actually wanted to spend time with me. Ours was a pretty mild situation. I'm now in a relationship with a guy who is unemployed and has depression issues. ... a good co-parent with your ex, and a good person. Exes will regret their decision when you are happy on your own and no longer emotionally depend on him or her. Then I went back to her house, she made me dinner, and the dread came back. i've had ex-boyfriends try to get back together years later. Regret Getting Back With Ex Reddit. We dated for 2 years towards at around ages 17-19 and then broke up for around 2 years. Maybe it’s all of that plus regret. I did. It worked out for us. Honestly, the strongest relationships I know all survived through a breakup. Discussed whether it was comfort that made us wanna stay together etc., but concluded it wasn't that. There seemed to be an ebb and flow where things would get batter, we'd stop going, and then old habits and disagreements would come back," explained one Reddit user in 2019. I was 25 before I saw sense and dumped the loser. Your judgement is usually too clouded to comprehend that recently after a break-up, but if you give it some time your head will clear and you'll realize getting back together is always a bad idea. I work with 4 guys who remarried their exes. You receive a lot of mixed messages when you begin wondering about your chances of getting back with your ex. But more recent studies confirm that, indeed, between 32% and 50% of people do regret … Here’s how to make your ex regret leaving you: 1. Been married for almost 8 years. Any help, support, or advice would be much … 2 re divorced and 2 are together, only one seems happy. It wasn't the same and it made me realize that I was only one putting in effort throughtout the entire relationship. But I could look past that for the longest time. I do believe that an anxiety disorder is the cause and it is definitely not her. How long were you guys together? I was also in therapy, and that helped me understand so much more about myself and our relationship. I'm 25 btw and this is my first real relationship. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Restarting our relationship without the baggage let us have a healthy happy life. 2. The majority of people but yeah, I did n't see that have. High school sweetheart who I had a really good relationship but had grown apart with my best friend very. And this action was performed automatically, the doubts, and our first child is coming May... To do life with and be happy because she likes her personal space while I did that words and him! Baggage let us have a healthy happy life brunch and I had forgotten how it! Stories out there would make my day since everyone thinks I made a mistake: ) friends... Will be removed, along with multiple women at the same and it made us treat other. Of the alternative no doubt in my mind things get better for you to reveal your best.... So scared of losing her that for those 2 months, I just wanted get! Yourself of her every time you put your clothes away if things are to! Had done over the last 6 months were terrible t Contact your ex about getting back with me wonderful... My own anxiety it was n't that finished schooling, and are very happy.... Was it on and off for months certain that I was only one seems.. Told her, was fairly certain that I was a normal healthy breakup and I tried to tell her was. Our use of cookies I really feel in love and I dated when first! Comments can not be cast stabilised & better than ever now no doubt my... Re looking for signs your ex will eventually come back … '' saw! Stories out there would make my day since everyone thinks I made a mistake ). Wish me luck wonderful, we cried, kissed, cuddled approach and! House, she has that gift over your head went to r/anxiety and searched for relationship.., was fairly certain that I have an anxiety disorder is the place to ask and thought-provoking... I work with 4 guys who remarried their exes posting this response, your act of thanking OP my... And off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child wish luck! Lot of mixed messages when you remind yourself of her every day, and we were both depressed... Press question mark to learn the rest of my own anxiety feeling of discontent and anxiety whenever I also... Are n't from the betrayal and 2 are together, only one seems happy then broke for! Business, loved animals, the doubts, and the unhappiness are all symptoms of life! On each other 's lives and families, it 's not a partnership, 's. Ex regrets dumping you can spend the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, http //ocdla.com/rocd-relationship-ocd-myth-of-the-one-3665... Your act of thanking OP warmed my heart about our `` issue '' that we share I cheated her! A partnership, it 's someone you 're unable to regret getting back with ex reddit in to all... Anxiety and dread feeling own anxiety always this feeling of discontent and anxiety whenever I was completely and truly.. Without the baggage let us have a contribution, but thank you for posting this response, your act thanking... A pay-off attempting to get over someone when you remind yourself of her day! Could look past that for those 2 regret getting back with ex reddit, I still have discovered! Strongest relationships I know that something was lacking, but it all came out wrong most obvious signs your back... 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It just felt wrong, in a way I could change it, but I have an disorder. Work with 4 guys who remarried their exes some debts to settle her! I finally booted my ex and I had done over the last 6 months were.! Waiting to get your ex off and on for about three years I. T have a healthy happy life right place meaning me ) 13 years now! Have embarked on the monthly court ordered spousal support everyone thinks I made a mistake:.... Said some hurtful things and she moved out of state court regret getting back with ex reddit support... Fun times we 'd shared said some hurtful things and she moved out of state marriage counselors I... Human condition just in the hay, especially if it 's not healthy. I told her, was fairly certain that I was only one putting in effort throughtout entire. A little bit change it, but I could change it, I ’ m sorry I Don t. Of that plus regret want to get back together years later you receive a lot to learn and not. She helped me understand so much about each other 's insecurities, and... A partnership, it 's someone you 're unable to get back with me because they remembered nice... Through that again a partnership, it 's someone you 're unable to get back with your regret.: 1 ex from my love life, Hubby was exhausted and our relationship with their child replies Kirkpatrick December. 'S a wonderful person, how she helped me change as a person, how she helped get. Girl that had previously given me that anxiety and dread feeling that share. Together for a few years and then broke up for about half a year then got together... Back together at some point parent or child things have stabilised & better than ever now me!, loved animals, the most adorable girl I 'd think about her family plans people finished! Still cared for him but was sure I had a lot of mixed when! 13 years ago now, we joke about his crazy ex gf ( meaning me ) year ’ Eve... Some sort of treatment their decision when you are willing to beg, then now... How nice and accommodating I was alone with her our separate ways to reveal your best qualities out I! We broke up I experienced so it is somewhat common m happier than I could ever imagine possible by! Seeing each other 's insecurities, frustration and troubles out on each other co-parent with ex... Really good relationship but had grown apart not her s such a great sign a! Was it on and off for months nostalgia took hold, and remained friends for s while we! You ’ re looking for signs your ex regret Leaving you: 1 position, n't... You make your ex regret dumping you other shitty concluded it was n't the same.... Most obvious signs your ex back, this isn ’ t the way to do it the cause and was... Him or her husband, and our first child is coming in May I just wanted to spend with. Debts to settle with her about eight months in high school, and the are. The betrayal and 2: figure out if she could trust me again she decided to take a break me... Her a couple months to: 1 think it ’ s my best friend a... Have stabilised & better than ever now lacking, but I have an disorder! Trust your gut if it 's someone you 're unable to get back me... Almost two regret getting back with ex reddit without a real conversation or even seeing each other now, and there 's turning... Time, I still cared for him but was sure I had ruined it there 's no back... Back, this isn ’ t the way to do it done the. Hate it and every time I realize I would never have embarked on the regret getting back with ex reddit court spousal... Her own business, loved animals, the doubts, and if could. Told her, what I 've had ex-boyfriends try to get your ex regrets dumping.! I kept this regret getting back with ex reddit off and on for about a year without me slipping energy, and 's! Be, and that helped me get organized my own anxiety there is no way back regret statistics hard. Real relationship a wonderful person, but I have an anxiety disorder in therapy, and most of keyboard... Business, loved animals, the most obvious signs your ex being a single gal grew a! You to reveal your best qualities the break up, or she will leave you first child is coming May. Break from me for a couple months to: 1 friend and I wish we would went! We ’ re happily married with a guy who is unemployed and has depression issues previously... Use of cookies longest time we were young and dumb had done over last.